Psychoshipping On Motorcycles
by demonkitsune31
Summary: The following is a fanbased parody of a fanbased parody! Marik and Bakura are running late to the next Evil Council and take a detour through London. What happens when Marik has fanboy urges? Only the worst for Bakura...


**A/N: 12-22-10 I just downloaded an app that has the top ten most bizzare laws and #9 was, "In London, it is illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle." And I was like, haha, it's because of Marik, (his motorcycle, right?) and then I though of a pic from the YGO manga I saw where Marik was leaning on his bike and Bakura was bent over it knocked out, and thus this crack fic was born! I SO didn't take it seriously**

**Anime: Yu-Gi-Oh! by Takahashi Kazuhi, all rights to him and 4KIDS,**

** Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series by LittleKuriboh**

**Mehs: um, OOC by 4KIDS standards, language, psychoshipping, YAOI, wankers and 'gypts, un-beta'd**

**THE FOLLOWING IS A FAN-BASED PARODY OF A FAN-BASED PARODY [MEANING I DON'T OWN SHIT. IF I DID STUFF LIKE THIS WOULD HAPPEN A LOT MORE OFTEN!] PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE AND GO AND WATCH LITTLEKURIBOH'S STUFF! ONEGAI Y ARIGATO, demonkitsune31**

**Tanoshimu**

Marik skidded the bike to a stop and was kicking down the stand before the engine was even cut off. He pulled his helmet off and released his tousle of cream colored hair. He smirked.

"Marik? Why did we stop? As much as I hate to admit this… we're going to be late to the next evil counsel…" Bakura sighed, well more so growled in exasperation.

"I. HAVE. FANBOY. URGES."

"What the f*ck is that supposed to—"

Marik seized Bakura violently and crashed his lips against the thief's incarnation.

Bakura's eyes flared as he tried to shove Marik off, but Marik stayed firm in place with a bronzed hand tangled in Bakura's white mane of yummy goodness.

Marik slipped his tounge inside as if he had done so a million times. Bakura used this as an opportunity to free himself and bit down on his tounge, forcing a snarl from Marik.

"I want to EFF you. Go with it, Fluffy."

He spit the blood that welled from his tounge onto Bakura's lip, and when Bakura's pink tounge darted out to clear it he went bloody fucking nuts.

Bakura grabbed a handful of Marik's hair and pulled him down, nipping his ear then neck. Marik slid around Bakura so that he was sitting on the back of the bike. He resumed control of Bakura, grabbing his cheek with one hand and a clump of hair with the other. He leaned Bakura to the handle bars, shoving up his shirt to take it off.

Bakura broke from Marik's kiss and moaned as the hot gas tank pressed into the small of his back, burning him.

(Him taking over Ryou's body made the host cell stronger.)

"I am a f*cking god!" He crowed, holding onto Marik's shoulders and arching his back so his pecs were even further kissed by Marik, who busied himself with one pert little nub pinked from biting.

"Yes, no mortal could pull of that haircut, now undress me!"

Oho, Marik was so impatiently bitchy when hot.

Bakura licked his lips and pushed up Marik's tank, tounging his navel then licking up as the shirt came off.

(He was careful to drape it over the handle bars as not to lose it. Try explaining that to the evil counsel of doom.)

Bakura chuckled as he trailed his fingers down Marik's scarred back, then around his side to the waist band of his pants.

Marik let out a grunt at the chills it gave him.

Bakura deftly unbuttoned Marik's pants and revealed him, fully hard.

"The hell. What the f*ck?"

"Real ninjas go commando in public." Marik said matter-o-factly.

"Alright. Let's pretend what ever the hell that means makes sense."

"You are just jealous because I am a ninja.' Marik huffed and put his hands on his hips.

"No more YouTube for you."

"No! I cannot go with out sasuke2197 or demonkitsune31!"

"Just shut up and f*ck me!"

"I thought you'd never ask, Fluffy." Marik giggled wildly and unbuttoned Bakura's jeans and pushed down his boxers.

"I guess this answers boxers or briefs, and I must say Bakura, this is the most color I've ever seen on you, limey-man."

Bakura was panting and the pretty pink blush on his cheeks matched the blush on his dick.

Marik leaned over Bakura, a hungry look in his eyes.

"You're not really _that_ evil are you?" Bakura gasped.

"No, I'm not, so lick." Marik shoved his palm in Bakura's face, who ran his tounge over it, liking the salty taste, then nipped, being playful.

Bakura sufficiently lubricated Marik's palm, and Marik in then in turn sufficiently lubricated his pulsing appendage.

"How the hell did I end up on bottom?"

"You rode bitch."

"But now you're in the bitch position!"

"For fanfiction's sake!"

"The f*ck—" Bakura's sentence was cut off and replaced by a moan as Marik heaved him up onto his lap and entered him. No preparation, no warning. ^^

The fabric between them made thrusting a little hard, but they made do.

"God damn, Marik!" Bakura crowed. He dug his nails into the Egyptian Scriptures.

"Don't EFF those up! They are the basis for all my character building flash backs!"

Bakura growled and moved his hands to Marik's shoulder's and started to bounce on his lap. Marik leaned back, his glorious abs tensing to hold him in that position due to lack of medium to lean upon, to angle his hips better.

Bakura yelped as his sweet spot was brushed, then hit, the mercilessly plundered. Heat came over him and he whined as his orgasm splashed across his stomach.

He went limp against Marik, who gave a few more final thrusts then pulled out and released his own orgasm across Bakura's stomach.

"God that was better than the time I ritual summoned Sephiroth face up in attack mode." Bakura murmured dreamily.

Marik giggled obnoxiously, bringing Bakura back aroud.

"You f*cking arse! Did you **have** to do that all over me?"

Marik laughed harder until tears came to his eyes.

"You had better find away to clean that up, Fluffy."

As Bakura was about to murder Marik, a rather portly man clad in blue rounded the corner.

"Blimey! You there, limey wanker, and spray-on tan wanker! Put your bloody hands where I can see them! You're under arrest!"

"Holy. Shit." Gasped Bakura. "There are ACTUALLY police in this f*cking series? Wow. Pathetic. Honestly—"

"Bakura, your pants are down and you're covered in semen. FOCUS!"

The strange words from the ever air headed Marik got his attention.

"Shit! Marik! Drive!"

There was a mash of switching, tucking, buttoning, starting and riding away as Marik and Bakura made their great escape.

_Later, somewhere in the middle of Egypt….._

"Heyy, Bakoora, what is that on your shirt?" Said the short and fat Dark Rider Steve Umbres.

"Yeah, on your shirt. Like a boss." Chimed in Steve Luna.

"Um… uh…" Bakura stuttered.

Marik's loud voice rung throughout the room.

"We stopped for ice cream in London! I took a little girl's and poured it on Bakura because I AM TRULY EVIL!"

"And yoo were foour hours late because of it?"

"Yeah, late. Like a boss."

"Exactly! Because ice cream in London on motorcycles is the best!"

"Heh, heh, hey Weevil, he said cream." Snickered Rex Ryuzaki Raptor.

"Heh, heh, man cream" agreed Weevil.

END

**A/N: Holy shit! A one night fanfic! And it only took me three hours! Lol, I love how they jump from London to Egypt. And at parts of this, Marik was seriously reminding me of Covou from Lion King II XD! And when he was getting his hand licked by Bakura I was like, ew! Handle bar gunk! Cuz when I bat my bat turns my hands black and that's what I was thinking happened with Marik! For fanfiction's sake is a phrase I use a lot! And sorry folks, lemons aren't in season in December! And the line, 'sweet spot… plundered,' I was thinking of LK's cosplay vid of Pirate Bakura and Cowboy Marik. OBVIOUS YAOI JOKES! WOO! I totally didn't take this crackfic seriously (even my author's notes are on crack)**

**~ but I love it ~ Oh, and sasuke2197 dii the 'Real Ninja's' vid I referenced and demonkitsune31 is my YouTube. Sorry my notes are so sporadic, I was writing these as I was writing the fic itself.**

**Arigato y thankyou, besos y kisus, demonkitsune31 **


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